King of the Universe. Master of Gains. Destroyer of Cherries.


The nuclear bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki turned this little pipsqueak into an absolute gym savage. Can curl 45s, merk a bitch, and fire laserbeams from his mouth. Only equipped with his shades and a snapback, he doesn't need a shirt because he's a fucking lizard. Catch him flexing in the parking lot outside Planet Fitness because his mom won't let him go to a more expensive gym.